To Serve

"The perfect blossom
is a rare thing.
You could spend your life looking for one,
and it would not be a wasted life.
They are all perfect!"

*** 

Today,

yes,
today I did remember

those very old memories in me...
when I held The Sword,
at the Age of warrior
on the Land of rising Sun..

I remembered in me,
The Honour in
the Blade I wore,
the sign of dignity, of freedom
on the Land of rising Sun

I reminded
what meant
to pay for mistakes
with my life...
to protect that was important

I remembered...

I still carry it
in my Heart
yet my mind has forgotten

so I've been deceitful
in so many ways
in so many days

And my Soul is ill
and crying
for the honour
I once knew
I once wore

Today I reminded..

the Time,
on the land
of Rising Sun

I found my Blade
once again

***

"I believe man does he can
until his destiny reveals to him."

***

So I reclaim my sword

it says now:
"I belong to the warrior
in whom the old ways
has joined the new."

And so be it!

Varrode lugu...

Ghost time...

when there is a time

when everything,
absolutely everything...

is too much,
overwhelming...

you!
you feel like this...
crazy.. not knowing 
what's going on...

and you retreat...
because it is too scary... too obvious...
limiting too much you freedom...!

but,
you know...

you
touched something...
spacious, dangerous,
eternally yours..
but you tired
too weary...

yet so deeply profoundly,
beautifully genuine...

you...
real you
never felt like this
about you
about me...

you... it is you...

the other tried
the dark,
weary, old, wounded you,
it tried,
to push you over the edge...

and there you were
lost in the 
confusion

naked.. untouched,
completely shaked,
very, oh god.. very moved..

completely fucked 
to the heaven...
and you felt it all..
I felt it all
surely I did..!

and then..
and you ran away..

Oh yeah,

well done, well done
indeed
this is for the best
all good memories,
remain...

running away is better
than surrendering...
because staying means
dissolving into boredom
of numbing
into
day-to-day

because

dilution is much worse.

and the...!

and in fact..

none of this matters anymore..

it's done..!

it's the past!
we are the past..
a memory in each other's memory.

I hate you...
I love you eternally

(I think you know that already, don't you?)

Ma tulen et Olla

 Ma tulen, et olla

näha Päikese tõusu
Näha, kuidas Ta Loojub
tunda ja kogeda
Aja Heldust
Heldet Aja Kulgu

vahel on nii ...
nii, et kriibib sügavalt...
Kõikjal ikka õilmitseb

Vahel on nii
et mina Nutab
Mu Süles

on see siis
imeline kohtumine
on see siis
Avaneja avanev kestvus

Rõõm Aja Helduse Embusest

Lihtsat Armastuse kestev Kohalolu
keset varje ja valgust
keset loomet ja loodut
keset ennast ja kõike

Kohtumine loodu teadvusega
isetehtud teadvusega
ja seal on see hurm
Seal on see HURM

Osaduse Suur Ime

Teadvuse kestev Lugu

Wind's walkin and me with!

Wind's walking
in the air, 
through and through,
long  distances...

where you come?
and go, where?
I missed you well!
your breath's
so smooth.

and here you are
again
blowing me
blowing me
blowing me
away from... ,
to the ..!

here I am
with you,
wind, again
in constant
LOVE

How beautiful 
your breath Is
I feel inside,
around me well

So you go...

Kui Maa suudles Kuud

Sel ööl, säravas...
Nii paljut avanes.
vaatasin Su poole.

Me vaated Ühtisid
Vaatasin Su poole!
Kui kaua? Nii kaua!

Ja ometi alati koos...
ning ikkagi -
puutumuse puudus.

Ja ometi -

Su kohalolu,
Mu pimeduse valgus,
Mu tunde-elu,

Tõusud Mõõnad.
nii ikka on,
olnud ikka,
küllap jääb ka nii.

as the Earth kissed the Moon

Su kohalolu
Tunnen kestvalt
Ometi

Sel ööl Sind nägin
eriliselt, teisiti
Su vaatus
minu tundeid puutus

Mu süda avanes
Las olla luules
las olla ülelendvas tuules
Las olla kõiges

Las Olla kõiges
Õiges

Clair de lune, beautiful blindness of Light

Life's So beautiful
in So many strange ways
can not waste it
for believing something
that I am not.

I am everything
because that is what I am
everything

because there is no me
but the strangeness 

of appearances and glimpses

of genius
of failure
of shame
of constant Love 

and things and happenings
and people and wind

and 

stream of Life
I have a feeling

that is me

so, I am everywhere
at once
like the light of the Moon

CLAIR DE LUNE

you can find me falling

 the Day
This very.. THE DAY
I .. we 
well, when met
here, first time ever...

I could not watch you
did you see?
I could not...
to give away
that I found you
That I ..
this very remembrance
of you!

so I fell
keep falling since
so deep 
is this
memory of
memory of feeling

I got -
of the hole,
emptiness
that was suddenly 
so full

Find me falling
again :)
you can

I still am on wait.

The Life that I am

 So
I go through the wall
of my solitude
I feel the longitude
I feel this intense Love
For the Life
that I am

it is immence
it is my second 
Nature
I am
I am that!
of Life
Of Love
Of Locos

I am that!

In love, with Life

 I am
waking up
dude!! yes, not playing with ya
waking up
every moment that is passing
every breath I take in

well, sometimes
it is truly hard
while ditched
into garbage...
indeed

and here I am
within of process
of enlightenment :D

ya'now

The Joy for Life, the Joy of Life - everlasting...

every day,
every day
forever in me
in my life
in our life
Life that enlightens
all of Us...

the life
that is full
of laughter and joy,
love and compassion,
sensuality and passion,
I love that life,
this life becomes
reality of mine

So everlasting

weird inmiself :)

home of picture

this instant brush

that comes over
this instant blush
of elated blow within
it comes and goes...

like wind, like wind

sometimes comes
harder, expressing
its multitude of
sides... takes me off
from feet...

Ah, like weirdo
I sit 

and smile 
does stay
glued to me...

this elated feeling...

bliss, what else indeed.

The Beat of my Hearth

Feel this Rhythm
THE RYTHM of your Hearth
do you feel the pulse of it
This is yours, isn't it

have you spoken to it lately
have you danced,
lately.
have you had passion
Anger perhaps,
laughter
or soaked it with
tears of yours

Do you feel your beating hearth
this is your Love-match within
you know... embrace your being
cuddle tightly, its yours...
if not you, then who?

David ja Mathilda

Last night,
you were here
visiting and saying:
staying for a while

I was happy, yes I was
we are friends...
and up to something
yes, 'bout to do...

and morning came
with the song you sang
... never let U/Me down...
I was happy.

found the song,
let it play
and I cried
my hearth was happy

and there...
Mathilda came
Matilda,
I've known you too
for aeons. 

and here I am,
you are there, somewhere...
and I am happy
that you ARE

You are loved
within my realm
I've known you both
for Aeons

and I am happy

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nKdnbARmMOM&ab_channel=gotosleep 

https://leosalazar.blogspot.com/search?q=little+things 

https://uustulgu.blogspot.com/2019/09/matilda-keeleke-veel-saladus-02092019.html

The Light of Love

So,

I am the Light of Love
Standing on the Coast
of Eternal Ocean
Hope for arrival

I am
the Light of Hearth
At the Coast,
At Sea
Hope for Safe

So everyone
Could sail by,
everyone with
Their LoveSpark inside
Hope for Bliss

And I stand at Coast
Seen by all
and everyone
by their Light of Heart
being this all

Here's the Coast
Sailor
There's the Coast
for all of you! know!
For all!

The Light of Love
cannot be divided
its always whole
Always whole
yet in everyone

You can receive 
This undivided Love
for becoming
the Light of Love
on your island
between the Ocean

I am called to be this Light
I've called me to be this Light
so my body would be
like a Lighthouse
at the Sea, at the Ocean
to wait and to be

The Love I feel

the Love I felt, I still do...
it's in my veins, bones..
within my heart.
I feel its blessing

through many eyes
are you, are you
I love, my Love
you're there, your eyes, 
I know, I feel, you're there

You're changing constantly
everchanging, 
your face,
but feel inside
it's always same

I know you
You're there
besides me
I am besides
So we feel

My ancient, old memory

 

It is from old

I know you
I know
you...
the day we met,
on the other island

and here now
I am on one
other,
on felsland

the island of
fallen...
I'we been
thinking of you
who you've been
in that old time

perhaps I went
to the ocean
and never
returned..

so I beg
forgivness
from you
my south wind

and still you are
in my wings..

I am FIRE, Earth, Air, WATER (secret) 20.11.2019

to dream on OLD
as NEW, as wished for
where there were
only TWO -
woman and a man,
no STRINGS attached.

Oldfashioned
is it? IS?


Old fashioned it is :), indeed,
since then the one, he, the man
is only yours, no need to share
no reason for doubt
...
but,

you have your own
matter of choice
these rules apply here
if you deem to,
if you need to...

yet

all, loyalty and else
is in love, default
so hear, hear
your HEARTH
is a friend to tell
you that this
or that
or those...

yeah, right
these are for you
your body laughs
your shreds are full
of fire!

you are fire
in wood
in flood
in water

you are
THIS...

no Rules apply!

vote for the Singular Unity

tume või hele või lihtsalt (Saladus) 10.10.2019

Nimetu, minu sees...

Kui vajaduses -

olen se's üksi.

täiesti.
lootus on tühine

vajaduse vabastamine,
pimedusse valguse loomine.
arvamused on erinevad,
kõik kõnelevad samast...

mida valin?
lõputu valguse
lõputu pimeduse
kohalolu kogemise

või pimedus puudub?
on vaid erinev valge valgus:
roosa, beež, heleroheline
nii ju on...

olemises puudutan
varju ja valgust,
olen ma siis
vari või valgus

kes on nägija
nimetu, keeletu
kes on kuulja
tumm kõneleja

loen, saan osa
maailmast.
kus siin mina on,
kus õilmitseb mõistmine?

edenemise duaalsus
paigalseisja ajatus
pole algust, pole lõppu
edenemise lõpulugu

sajab

mu Jumal minus
mu ümber
igaühe ümber
mu Jumal

kõik on
ja kutsub - Mina
nimetu, nimeta
alati kohal

mina mõistab
kohut saamatuses
kohus kohustab hukkaõistu
kohus, kelle kohus?

kes mõistab kohut,
valib alati poole.
mis on mu kohus?
anda õigus kõigele?

anda vaba valik -
ja keskkond toimib 
sisesel toel, nõul.
aga Jumal mu sees, ees, vees, see

on igalpool kohal
see vaatleja, see vaatleja
loodu tema särk ja püksid
eks tunne siis ära...

Absoluutselt vastutustundetu, mõttetult särav... :) (ei tea kes) 09.10.2019

mudas, mudas
segaduses, armuta
sõge armutuses,
mida muda.

kuhu suruda,
mis on tähendus?
mis jälg jätta
tuleva põlve?

tulev, olev.
jagamatu üks.
järgnevusest teadvel
siiski olematu,

küll kujutlev
siiski reaalne
minus endas.
teised naeravad...

olen olematu,
oleva teadmatu,
jahupea karkudel
ükskõikne, ÜksKõikne.

osavõtmatuse hääl
kajab valju naeru saatel -
olen tühine -
olen tühja täis

kusagil on marjamaa
maarjamaal seda pole
on perse ja särk,
värki pole.

ärksamaid tabab
õnnestunud ebaõnn
teineteise laim,
ebaõnnes on õnn.

no mis sa teed,
mis sa kurat teed
kui ma olen kaitsetu
kaitsest tüdinud

lase siis haarab
mu südamest
peast ja persest
vahet pole, täiesti mõttetu...

ning ikka
jalustrabavas joobes
elust enesest,
ise-enesest

astun
samm ja kaks
kukun, laman tasa -
täiesti surnult, ärkan...

ärkan millesse
ikka lõppematusse
muretsemine on tegevus
täiesti tulutu, täidab aega.

aga mida siis valin
valikud on samased.
kulgemine seistes,
seisev on kõikne.

teadvel kogemuses
igavikuses üksiolus,
sukeldus üksiolusse
teadlik kogemus.

olen tühjuse tühi
olen tühi tühjuses
tühjuse võrdkuju,
olen

OLEN
Taju
kogemus,
teadvus
suk am nelut

tunned ära
võõrkeele,
negatiivsus
on test postiviisvulese

positiivsusel on seisund
pole sel asja.. see on ...
lihtsalt, see on
täiesti ükskõikne, Mina olen...

positiivsus on tagurpidi
negatiivsusel on savi
savi hakkab külge
nii ma rooman...

roomates edasi
ilma, eesmärgist ilma
ikka elus, mis mõttes
mis mõttes elus?

ise olen
olen ise
see ma olen
mis ma siis olen?

mis ma siis olen
tühi ja täis
sõltub tunnist
sõltub kohast

sõltub
olen elusõltuv
elu on nakkus
täis elamise nakkust

kus see ravim...
olen kogemus
ja mida valin
olengi mina.

praegu on tühi
praegu on nii...

Minu Eestimaa õudus, äratuse aeg on käes... 19.03.2019 (silver)

Eesti,

Pildi kodu

paljukannatanud,
sõdades põletatud,
katkudest räsitud, 
teiste piiratud ja taga kiusatud,
põlatud, vägistatud ja neetud,
sajandeid omal maal teiste ikkes olnud,

nii, et nood on päris harjumuseks saanud:
karta,
muretseda,
kahtlustada,
salata,
salatseda,
süüdistada,
nuriseda,
ära panna,
halvustada..

normaalsuseks,
tõeks ja õiguseks...
jonni ajamiseks

elada õnneta, rõõmuta
kannatades, kandu kokku lüües...
küll saab kuidagi hakkama
nii peab, peab ja peab ja peab,
mis siin nuriseda, hea, et niigi läits...

võib-olla, ehk - ootuses...

töötades elust surnuks
töösse mattes,
armutusse,
unustusse,
kartes ja kartes ja kartes,
tühisusse, tühjusesse

piiru valgel unistusest
unistades,
salamisi
ümisedes
nutu-ulgu, kurbi viise

ja siis -
kord sajandis vabadusest lauldes.
ja siis jälle porri komistades

kartes karistust,
selle ootuses ...

ja siis sealt kusagilt
küll kuskohalt ...

...

Eesti Rahva Vana Testament - Kalevipoeg

kõige lõpus
KÕIGE lõpus
kõige LÕPUS

...
Aga ükskord algab aega,
Kus kõik piirud kahel otsal
Lausa lähvad lõkendama;
Lausa tuleleeki lõikab
Käe kaljukammitsasta -
Küll siis Kalev jõuab koju
Oma lastel′ õnne tooma,
Eesti põlve uueks looma.